A spokesman for Fianna Fail has moved to disregard rumours that a breakaway group has formed a new tea party cumann in Letterkenny.
FF leader Micheal Martin
This would be similar to the Republican Party’s extreme right wing rump in the USA.
According to media tycoon and political commentator John McAteer, the taypot gang from FF (allegedly) met in secret in Letterkenny last week amid speculation that they stopped just short of backing Linda Martin to clock Billy McGuinness.
The meeting is thought to have got sight of an unspeakably cool blueprint to save Fianna Fail from being eaten up by the Northern Lights with an innovative range of digitally enhanced sound bites.
These include banning Eamon O’Cuiv from annoying the IFA: to a considered position on same sex marriage, divorce, married priests, celibacy and free condoms for families in negative equity and 50% off for bona fide joyriders (over 15 years of age).
Tagging non-productive farmers (including the IFA) was also up for grabs along with preserving family values: the family farm and the corncrake, protecting post offices, garda stations schools, banks, disappearing sand dunes and postal votes for non-nationals.
The Blueprint also has a line (allegedly) on getting free eye tests for sheep (2 years and over) at Specsavers and transferring the Letterkenny Electoral Area to the Ukraine and forming branches of UKIP in Rathmullan, Ramelton, Kilmacrennan, Aghadachor and Glenswilly.
A motion of support for Panti Bliss was adjourned pending her appearance in Ramelton to allow them get a closer look when she takes jet ski lessons on the Lennon next week (allegedly).
Micheal Martin’s case for early canonisation is also to be forwarded to the Council as long as he promotes an agenda to fast track a new senator for Donegal NE.
The FF spokesman says they are well aware of this meeting: however they will not be making any comment since they understand the taypots are not paid up members of the organisation and as such they are free agents to pursue their own agenda… preferably outside of the party.
The Tea Party is an American political movement associated with the Republican Party. The name is derived from the Boston Tea Party of 1773, an iconic event in American history and is primarily known for advocating a reduction in the U.S. national debt. It is now seen as an ultra conservative rump that has outlived its uselessness.
Tags: